Sunday, 31 May 2009

Rating my life?

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:
4.7
Mind:
4.4
Body:
6.1
Spirit:
6.4
Friends/Family:
2.3
Love:
0.8
Finance:
4.5
Take the Rate My Life Quiz


Woah. I didn't ace any of those.
Well, with love and finance I get it, really.
Why they joined friends with family I do not know. They're bloody different D<
I mean, friends score high, family not so high, for me.

Basically, the test is implying my life fails on the general scale.
Which I guess I knew, even though I did not let depression answer the questions.
At all. Quite the opposite. I'd've gotten a 0.1 for everything but friends if pessimism had let me.

Anyways. I'll retake it in three months. See if anything changed.
I'm aiming for a 7 or 8, at some point in my life D< There!

On a none related note~ This month passed really quickly. Lots happened. Not all good, but not a consistent down either. Quite sad it's over. Here's to a good next month =D ~raises her glass of blackberry juice~

xxx
The Gypsy

Three down, three to go

It didn't go so bad as I had expected it to...
BUT, I am extremely pissed at me wasting away a good 48 hours I could've used to reread the texts we had to do, instead of the research she apparently bluffed about, which never actually came in the exam. Bugger.

One "funny" thing happened though. I finished answering all the questions but one, for I could not for the world remember who the hell Emily Grierson was, or what she had done. I cramped up in the exam, and kinda gave up on answering that question.. Until, two minutes before the end, it asked the girl behind to remind me with her, and she turned out neither to be a novelist or a poet or anything... But a character in one of the short stories! xD I had a marvelous time laughing at myself after that.
After jotting down a quick paragraph, I handed in my paper, then got thanked by the girl who helped me out, because she hadn't even seen Emily's name in the question! So we helped each other out without really cheating, I mean, the question wasn't to who she was, at all. xD

Well, gotto dash.
Tired as hell.

xxx
The Gypsy

Thursday, 28 May 2009

The Sea

I love the sea. It's the only thing of Egypt I'd miss if I went anywhere else.
Only /thing/. I'd miss plenty of people.
But the sea, that's something special. Like those people.
This morning, instead of trying to catch some sleep, I went out with two friends.
I should not have, I know. But I couldn't focus on studying anymore.
It was great.
We were as absolutely carefree as can be in the middle of an exam period.





And I was being absolutely crazy. :3 Specifically when driving was concerned xD
And I had cheesecake! Woohoo.




A bit more studying, then I'm turning in "early".


xxx
The Gypsy

Poetry.

I like the Waste Land.
Every time I read it, I discover new ideas, meanings, references, metaphors.
And according to my mood, it's like I read a new poem every single time.

I also like Emily Dickinson's poetry. :3
Like, foreals.
I never knew I was fond of any poetry but the metaphysical, where they depend mostly on intellect, and use far fetched ideas to persuade you.

Here come two short novels by Dickinson I read and fell in love with (when I should've been reading all about the American civil war. lol):

If I Can Stop
-----

IF I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

~*~*~

Hope is the Thing with Feathers
----

"Hope" is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest sea,
Yet never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

~*~*~

Maybe I'll add more later?
Even if I seem to be hating upon the subject, I certainly do like a lot of the reading material.
If only that earned me marks. lol

xxx
The Gypsy

Wednesday, 27 May 2009

T. S. Eliot

Deserves a title to himself.
That man is pure genius. Seriously.
*luffs*
When I said he was a genius, pure and simple, a friend of mine raised her eyebrow.
Which is very true. He's nothing if not complex.
And so morbid xD
Don't look at me like that. lol. My taste is just different xD
I thought that my "most favourite" American poem ever would be and stay Poe's The Raven, but now there's so many things of Eliot I really like... Now I have lots of "most favourite" American works? xD

Anyways. Didn't study, obviously. xD
No, really, I didn't.
I got up only to find mum wanted me to go with her on umpteen errands.
Ended up going home with a new transformer (mine blew up two weeks ago o.o), a new shirt (yay), and a phone that looks like a bunch of grapes (o.o;; ).


I need to rest a while, then I'll seriously start taking studying seriously. *cough*

@ Johnny: Lies! I be not modest xD
Nor do I know anything much about those things I mentioned. I should pull myself together and get to know about them before Saturday though. lol
Jitters, yes. I got those. Too much of it.. D;

xxx
The Gypsy

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Two down, four to go.

"Stapled shut, inside an outside world and I'm
Sealed in tight, bizarre but right at home
Claustrophobic, closing in and I'm
Catastrophic,
...
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget.. before I forget that.."

Creative Writing Exam. So no pre-studying.
One of my favourite subjects.
Or it used to be. Ha, ha, double ha...
Catastrophically difficult exam.
When the papers were given out, there was a ripple of nervous laughter and giggling going to the class. Then twenty minutes of blank staring at the paper. Total shock.
Yay..

What's up next?
American Literature.
Which means memorizing American history, reading tons of poetry, short stories, and three novels, and researching about imagism, cubism, modernism and I don't know what else.
All this by Saturday.
~sighs~ I've done most of the reading, but know little to nothing about background or genres of literature or its authors. This exam especially is scaring me. Not my forte, and the professor promised us a mean exam.

Help?
Dx

Xxx
The Gypsy.

Saturday, 23 May 2009

One down, five to go.


Exams have officially started. *rings some sort of Exam bell*
Three weeks of ickiness, stress, worry, either lack of appetite or too much of it, and plenty of headaches.
Funny thing is: seeing as these are my "last exams ever", I'm not complaining much. Maybe some day when I'm stressed out at my job I'll wish I just had exams every day.
Last exams ever are between quotation marks, seeing as I have no clue if I might not take up more classes at some point xP Right now I'm thinking a job first, think about what I want to do permanently later.

Anyways, novel exam went alright. The questions came really limited, so that even if you've got a lot to say about the novel itself, you can't say anything to the question. So not satisfied with either questions or my own answers, but at least if I do this much in every exam I'll have at least passed this term, which is as much as I can ask, really.

It smells really weird here right now. ~sniffs~
Not bad. But I can't place it.
~follows her nose~
Later!

xxx
The Gypsy

Thursday, 21 May 2009

To put it simply:

I miss my friends.

I've been too busy to even study, these last couple of weeks.
But what I seriously miss is a good intelligent witty conversation.
I need those, they keep me alive. My friends do.
Without them I drown into either numbness or depression.

My mind's reeling right now.
Would make no sense if I typed any of it out, it's all random and half-baked.
Yes, si, da, oui, ja, ﻧﻌﻢ ... I'm going crazy~

Tuesday, 19 May 2009

More visits.

"There is certainly no purpose in remaining in the dark,
Except long enough to clear from the mind
The illusion of having ever been in the light."
-T.S.Eliot



Last night, we visited his once-upon-a-time-best-friend.
Or maybe it still is his best friend, in a way, seeing as they are able to pick up where they left off as if there hasn't been half a year of barely any communication between them.
The friend's daughter got married around two summers ago, and gave birth to a baby girl last summer, and she was also there when we went there yesterday, and so dad now has been implying I should get pregnant soon, too. Or that I already am, dunno how he figured that out, but I suppose it's all just wishful thinking~

Afetr that we visited the wife of dad's deceased uncle, which was far more depressing. He also died last February, along with that ex-neighbour of ours. I actually heard for the first time how he died, who had been with him that day, and his last words. Lots of tears from both his wife and daughter, and his sons (or those present) were trying very hard to not cry.

Today, we visited that ex-neighbour, and again got told from the widow herself how he had been that day, what he said, and what he did and where and how exactly he was positioned when he died.

A couple of years ago we also had a "death period", as I call them, where loved ones seem to drop dead in bunches. I dislike those period a lot, but more so, I fear them.
I'm just hoping it's over now, and won't be so vicious as I fear it will be.

Dad, mum and bro went to more visits, me and sis came home to try and study something. Our exams start this Saturday, and we've done a poor little bit of work. If I succeed this term it definitely won't be because of all the hard work I put into it~

xxx
The Gypsy

Cairo

" When the sun shines we'll shine together,
Told you I'll be here forever,
Said I'll always be a friend
Took an oath, Imma stick it out to the end"


Haha, it's been quiet here for a few days, eh?
That's just cause Cairo, or the places I went there, had no wifi =P
I'm going to be as light-hearted as possible about a not-so-good trip, so I won't be telling all that much~

We left early Saturday morning, without much sleep, in sis' car. Me, my dad and my brother.
Dropped by my aunt's for a short time, for them (Aunt, uncle, two cousins) to get ready and depart with us. Neck-to-neck race to Cairo, it was. Would've given mum a heart attack, I'm positive.

Cous went to take her exam, dad saw to some business of his own, and I and bro sat in the car melting and catching sun strokes in an alarming heat.
Afterwards I went to hospital, got tests that made me aching and queasy, of which I won't even know any results straight away.
Then we met up with my relatives again, and we (they) ate somewhere where there were actually trees. (Which says nothing, it was as steaming hot there as anywhere else, the grass was positively yellow instead of green).

My relatives went home, and we went to dad's friend, who /always/ pushes us to eat a lot more than we're capable of, which doesn't really ever surprise any of us, seeing each of them could easily eat an elephant per meal. I look unhealthily skinny next to them, or they unhealthily obese. We're both critical of each others' weights, and agree to disagree on that. To be fair, the oldest boy is neither over nor underweight, and looks decent. He's the only one I can have some intelligent conversation with in that house, too, so yeah.

Sis and mum came by train to arrive around 1 am, and instead of coming home at 2 am and going to bed, they (dad's friend & co.) decided they were hungry enough to go and eat twelve pizzas at some shady place. I couldn't eat more than a third of my own, they were so big and greasy.

Then we finally went home and to bed around 5 am, and were roused three hours later to go to the Dutch Embassy for our passports that had expired earlier this year. Took ages, because it was so busy, and then finally left for Alexandria, away from the heatwave. We didn't actually go home immediately, but arrived long after dinner time on my aunt's doorstep, requesting of her to feed us (them).

After this sleepless, hot, and for me foodless trip, I was dead enough to just curl up for twelve hours and actually sleep at least half that long. (I haven't slept for more than three hours a night for weeks, now, and that was double that)..
The only pictures I took were amongst the trees in that park thingy, but I'll upload them later cause I'm still feeling desperately queasy.
And I typed more than I thought I would ^^
Still not much studying getting done here.

xxx
The Gypsy

Friday, 15 May 2009

Death again


For the loved ones not living anymore.
May they rest in peace.


How can you stay out of touch with people you care about for so long they die and no one even tells you...

When we first came to live in Alexandria, we had the sweetest neighbours ever. An elderly lady and gentleman, nice, kind, caring. We moved twice, since, though we still live in the same neighbourhood.. That house is a ten-minute walk away..
And yet, we rarely see each other. Maybe once or twice a year..
And now it's been five months. And she called us.. Turns out her husband died last February.. Three days after her own sister died.. Man she must've been depressed..
And to think of the little things I complain about..
Just ick.
I need to go see her more often.. As long as I live here, I should..

Apart from that, I was already depressed after a heart to heart talk with dad.
And my ear hurts like hell, don't know why.

Yesterday I was at my newlyweds 'cousin's house, with the rest of the family.
It's getting a bit much.
Tomorrow I'm probably going to Cairo for two days.
More time not studying.
Go me.

xxx
The Gypsy.

Wednesday, 13 May 2009

Bugger


Like I said.. yesterday, a year ago, my cat died. About a week earlier she stopped eating, and a few days later she started turning yellow. So, without so much as a professional opinion, the vet within me knew it was a liver thing.
A week ago, our janitor became sick. Liver problems. And guess what?
He passed away last night...

Me, I'm trying to make it into a symbolic meaning, something great, or something awful...
It can't actually be a coincidence, can it?
Same period. Same organ troubles. Same deathday...

His wife woke me up this morning, screaming her lungs out.. I couldn't actually place her voice, but I knew it sounded familiar, as far as a distorted hysterical voice can sound familiar.. I feel so sorry for her. And their two kids.
Yesterday, I went downstairs and gave them a big piece of birthday cake, asked how he was, and she said he was having some pain, and they had called the doctor who told them to give him a shot of painkillers, and that he should come for another checkup in the morning.. I even cheerfully called out to him that he had to get better..

Life is horrid, especially around Death..

Apart from that, today's been alright.
Did not leave the house at all (That's rare, lately xD) and actually been able to chat with muh bff I've been missing for a while. So woot to that.

On an entirely different note: I should start studying.
Like, really. Because exams are hella close, and I've done absolutely nothing.
I just hope my days won't be so packed from now on, till after the exams.

xxx
The Gypsy

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

Presents rock.

"Out of tune and out of place again
the same old crowd, the same expression
never coming back again"

So I got presents for my 21st birthday after all. (Not from siblings or parents, mind)
Today, two days late, my whole family showed up. Within no time they had decorated the place, and my uncle (who shares the bakery with dad) got me such a BIG cake.. Even though I'm a pie person, really, I appreciated that a lot. Food enough for all, and same with drinks. That's the most important thing when hosting, nay?

Anyways, when family is over I rarely have any fun.
They're not "my kind of people", whatever that means. They're human. ~tilts head~ I alien. ~nod~

But that doesn't really matter... cause I got presents! Wooohooo! xD
Little things, really. But that's just fine. It's cute. Most of it anyways.
Got some clothes (for inside the house & outside), accessories (necklaces, bracelets, and one gorgeous belt), a bag, some kind of frame thingy, and most beautiful of all: a small white-gold flower pendant. Oh, and something else, but you'll have to ask me over IM if you're interested in knowing, I don't know about posting it here xD I'll get snarky and that's not fair, it's the thought behind me that counts~


(what's so interesting to them here are
the wedding pictures on the compy)


Drove some relatives home.. Came home, gave the janitor's wife a big piece of cake, helped clean up, and tried on the clothes. Most fit to perfection, so I got the "Evil Eye" from my sister, because clothes are usually either too big or too small for her.
The Evil Eye being an Arabic superstition thingy, like jealousy, which is like a curse to whoever you're jealous of, so something bad happens to them/it. Here I used it as a joke, mind. Nothing bad happened to me. Yet.

On a related yet completely different note: I need to stop eating so much. Dad cooked today, and he piles up plates so full x.x And I don't know. Guess I've been trained to empty my plate, so, yeah. Then with the cake I didn't even like, and soda for the first time in a long time.. Been feeling over-stuffed all day, and I keep eating. Makes no sense. Not even craving food. So.. o.o

~curls up, and yawns~

Today is also a year ago that Pluisje died.
I miss her so much it hurts.
Ik hou van je, watje. [/dutch]

xxx
The Gypsy

Sunday, 10 May 2009

Happy Birthday to me.

And it was pretty alright after all, even after I had lost all hope of it being anything but depressing.
Or maybe it was because I expected the worst, so it couldn't be but better.
What happened was that after the wedding on Friday, bro and I had a little argument. Dad blew that up big, and canceled everything fun this year. Birthdays, graduations, possible trips to anywhere.. Totally unreasonable, unfair, and mean. Me and bro had already forgiven each other yesterday, but he still hadn't. Today, he had half a mind to just ignore all of us, but I guess my crying, his sister talking to him, mum trying to convince him, and I don't know.. he just "gave us one more chance".

So, after going to the Roman/Greek amphitheater with the fourth year of English Language and Literature for our group picture, mum called to tell me we were going out after all. And that the family was invited to come over Tuesday instead.
So I drove my friends home and returned to that place, and they came about ten minutes afterwards. We ate something and then went to see a movie (Push.. That was Friggin' awesome. EVERYBODY should watch that).. And it was even relatively peaceful!
Not perfect. But I ain't complaining.



One thing that struck me was that this year I got far more Birthday wishes than any other year before now. On facebook, on hyves, phone messages, I even got called twice from Egypt, and once from Holland~ This is excluding my actual friends, and family. Friend of mine referred to "Death of a Salesman", and says that now I am "well liked" and can just die happily. xD Those who haven't read it wouldn't get it, but I nearly hit her on the head xD
And the first birthday without presents, too xD So one cancels out the other? xD lol

One thing: Jazz & Johnny, I love you two. Like. LOADS. Really.

Oh. And I got sunburned. lol

xxx
The Gypsy

Saturday, 9 May 2009

Quietness

Today I've been either crying or reading.
Trust dad to come here and manage to ruin everything for me.
I'm probably not going to celebrate any birthday or graduation or whatever this year.
Even though I was looking forward my 21st a lot, I can't say I care much.. I don't know.
Maybe it's me? I'm doing things wrong? It always is, anyways.

On a more cheerful tone, I got to set a bird free!
It flew in dad's face on the stairs outside, and he caught it and took it in to "scare" us.
It flew around for a while, but I caught it easily cause the poor thing was so paralyzed with fear.
I went outside on the balcony almost immediately, but it stayed a while on my hand. (Long enough for me to take pictures..)
When it finally did fly away, it almost immediately flew against a wall, so I started self-doubting whether it was smart to let it go.. ~shrug~

I'm awfully tired.
Hope I can finally fall asleep tonight~
xxx
The Gypsy.

Two family weddings in one~

Seeing as my cousin married my father's cousin~
So I thought I would know nearly everyone, seeing as they would both be inviting the same family. But I thought wrong, the bride and groom having invited more friends than relatives, and even the relatives were people I didn't know. Go me x'D

It was a typically Egyptian marriage.
In the evening, with lots of noise, lots of lights, more noise, little food, and did I mention noise already?
They'll be pregnant in two months, give or take. :3 See if I'm wrong xD

I'll upload a video and some pictures, not much more to tell. (Except that I'm having trouble at home. Which is now neither the time nor the the place to talk about.)
Really exhausted, my body is aching.
Enjoy!







Me, sis, my nephew, and the wife of a cousin of mine.









The kids of those that belong to my generation. I feel so old.













Me. Sorta anyways.








xxx
The Gypsy

Friday, 8 May 2009

What's" busy" in other languages?


Because today was certainly busy.
Little list of things I did:

1. Had a picture taken for the passport that's expired (woot, renewing it)

2. Circled Alexandria for eye doctors but failed.

3. Picked up mum's glasses.

4. Tried to buy clothes and failed.

5. Attended the 4th year "Farewell party". It's not a graduation party per se, but something close, anyways. They made a short amateur movie which was funny, a small sketch (like a play), some songs, our professors wished us well, and then they showed us a slideshow of pictures taken through out the four years we were in college. That was really touching. It's odd to feel so happy yet so sad about the same thing...

6. Went to my cousin's bachelor party (too late, as always... They had stopped dancing already. Bugger. Although my ribs still hurt like hell, couldn't have danced if I wanted to..)
Got my clutches on the magicjack, called and found a voicemail answering. How I detest voicemails! x'D..
Seriously, two good things about Egypt: a. Helpful people all around. (When we wanted to go home from the party my car had a flat tire, the first cab driver I stopped to ask for help helped me out immediately, and within 15 minutes we were back on the road)
b. No voicemails on phones. I never know what to say!

Came back way too late, so absolutely sneaking online.
Going to bed soon, need rest. Head es'plosion.

xxx
The Gypsy.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Final Lecture.


Our final lecture was today.
It's true I missed a lot of college this year, but it seems our professors aren't happy with us at all to begin with. They're all exceedingly slow readers, or just lazy, and if they have read, they are just unresponsive as hell, so their attending or not does not make a difference to the class at large.
I feel bad about that, even though I could've hardly forced the class to read.
Our professor of Poetry actually accused us of killing poetry this year. Though I do have to admit I prefer metaphysical poetry to victorian or modernist poetry, I can't say I really hated this year's poets. Prof was really glad with my enthusiasm for Eliot's Waste Land though, so all is good.

It's scary to have actually had the final lecture. I mean, sure, we'll still be going to college for the exams and parties for graduation planned, but that isn't the same.
Its one of the first steps to the end of college life, as it were.
Exams will be here and then over and done with within no time.. And then what?

Oh well.
Got lots to read till then.

xxx
The Gypsy

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Speedy (Gonzales) Recovery.

"Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It's the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It's the wrong time
For somebody new
It's a small crime
And I've got no excuse."

Two big pieces of news since yesterday, I guess. Or maybe three.

First of them is that yesterday, dad walked in, as if he hasn't been away for months.
Those who know me well enough know how I think about him, so yeah, lets not waste time and energy on that, shall we?

Second thing is related, namely: Dad seems like.. a different person.
Still radical ideas and stuff, to the extreme, but the opposite of what I'm used to.
I asked mum today "Who is that guy and what has he done with my father?"
Don't know if anybody else has noticed here. Maybe it's just because it's the first day.
I wouldn't mind if he stayed like this, though, to be honest.
Even though I'll have to re-program myself on his predictability.. or lack of it..

Third thing: Couple of my friends knew I wouldn't be free on my own birthday to celebrate anything, so they did that with me today xD Music, them dancing (cause my stupid body won't let me -even though I kept up with tradition and "stripped" -to my clothes- on Candy Shop) and LOTS of food! Pizza, sandwiches, crisps, ice cream, chocolate...
They were real awesome.

Now all I hope for is a speedy recovery.
Sick of aching.

xxx
The Gypsy

Sunday, 3 May 2009

The Oresteia, A Play

" What prayer can touch my father?
Should I say I bring him love from his woman,
My mother?!
I have no taste for that,
No words to say...
Lord of the world above, and of the quiet world below.
Lord of the dead, help me now~"
- Electra (The Oresteia)

Five days ago, one of my friends called me, asking if I could please please please fill in a part of Electra in the Oresteia, seeing as the girl who was supposed to play it was not feeling up to that anymore. They had all been rehearsing since January orso, after we (me included) had given up on this specific play last summer, after a few meetings.

--> A short explanation about the Oresteia for those who do not know it:
After ten years of (the Trojan) war, Agamemnon comes home to his wife, Clytemnestra, only to be murdered by her, because she has a lover, and he brought with him Cassandra of Troy as a slave/mistress. Electra, daughter of Clytemnestra and Agamemnon, cries at her father's grave for the return of Orestes, her brother, to take revenge on her mother. After having egged on Orestes, she helps him disguise himself and takes him to her mother, who welcomes him as a stranger. He kills her and her lover, and then gets tried by Apollo as a judge, whilst the furies (goddesses) attack him, and Athena defends him.

I said yes, mostly because I am not one to say no, definitely not when it's so necessary they find someone quickly. She assured me my role would not be big, so my bad as anything memory would not have to struggle too much with the text.

The cast was incredibly warm, welcoming and nice. Not just the girls I already knew, mind, but everyone was really helpful, encouraging and motivating!

The day before the performance (which was last night) I fell off the stairs coming from my aunt's, tried to hold unto the railings, and ended up spraining my whole right side's muscles, my lung diaphragm, and then proceeded by bumping with my lower ribs onto the marble stairs.
Lucky as hell that my character does not have to move around a lot, else I would have had to disappoint them all, and worst of all myself. I really felt like finally I had something to look forward to, so canceling it was out of the question in my mind~

We were at the place from noon, hanging around, half rehearsing, absolutely stressed, till we got dressed and ready for 20:00. Mum had called me to tell me she, sis and two cousins had already arrived and were seated, which only made me more anxious if anything.

Turned out that worrying had been all for nothing, everything went absolutely flawless, just as planned. The whole cast kept telling me to raise my voice in the rehearsals, whilst I always thought my voice was the loudest of my friends >.<

But after the play ended I got to hear my voice, along with Showeikh's and Adham's, were the clearest and loudest voices there were. My performance was called "great", "sincere" and "genuine" amongst lots of other compliments. Seriously my ego must've inflated double it's size over the two hours after the performance! So woot!


Can't wait for the video to come out :3
Here are some pictures of Electra (me with a wig! Oh! And drawn on evil eyebrows I wiped off before he actual performance cause I didn't like 'em much.) xD
Enjoy!








Electra~
C'est moi.
(without the atrocious make-up)





Showeikh (The Narrator) & moi.








Adham (The Herald) & me!









Me and Sara (part of the chorus, and one of my good friends)






xxx
The Gypsy

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