Saturday, 29 January 2011

Mubarak, Game Over.

Egypt is a true chaos at the moment.
Since January the 25th, Egyptians all over (but mainly in Cairo) have been demonstrating.
For a country of freedom.

60% of the Egyptians are younger than 30 years old, and about 20% of those can't find a job.
They're sick of the so called democracy that got a thousand demonstrators locked up this past week.
They're sick of the poverty they live it.
And they're sick of the corruption that has been going on forever.

in 1950s and 1960s, Egypt (Cairo and Alexandria, at least) were thriving in luxury.
They had it better than most Western (European) countries.
Where did it go wrong?

Since January the 25th, the government has blocked Twitter, seeing as that was the number one social media people were called to demonstrate on.
Two days later they blocked Facebook totally.
And today, trying hard as I might to reach my Mother, siblings and friends over there, I've discovered they've blocked the entire internet, as well as taken down all satellites for mobile providers.
Last night landlines were still intact. Who knows how long /that/ will take.

Last night, just before I went to bed, Mubarak said a "few words" to his people.
He had fired his entire government, and was going to appoint a totally new one, today.
He promised "more" freedom.
The idiot.
Seeing as the country doesn't have any freedom (read: 17 people got killed and a thousand were arrested only this week, during this revolution), that doesn't say much.
And luckily, the crowd isn't buying it.

I'm numb enough about Egypt to say that I don't care what the result is.
I don't give much of a damn, either way.
I just do give a shite about some people there. Friends and family. And not being able to reach them is getting on my nerves. Perhaps more than I'll ever admit.
Though it'd be better if those leading the revolution got their wishes, and the country helped the poor, and democracy is actually allowed.. I mean, I'm all for what they're fighting for.

No clue what'll happen next.
Who will win.
Because if Mubarak does, Egypt'll be worse off than they were a week ago.
One thing I do know for certain, though:
Egypt is writing history.

The Gypsy.

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Compliments to you.

Compliments strengthen your ego.
Compliments that are sincere, anyways.
The magic a smile on the face of the receiver, and that's the best part, really, isn't it?

I've received quite a few this week, and now it's my turn.
I want to thank everybody who is there for me when I need it.
Because you're great. As in, fantastic.
As in, I never ever ever want to lose any of you. Ever.

The Gypsy

Thursday, 20 January 2011


He cried "Wolf".

You know.
When people think they know you..
They start to guess at what the motivation of anything you do is.
They guess at your character. Your personality. Your soul.

And you put a lot of soul into art.
I do, anyways.
Serious (be it amateur or professional) artists usually do.

"Looks a bit like a scene from Harry Potter" is the commentary I've had on this one.
More than once, one unheard by the other.
:) I don't mind. Though I don't think Lupin was quite my first thought, when I wanted to paint a dark night with a full moon.
Coincidentally, it's been full moon last night, and tonight it shines quite as bright and round.
I like full moons. They make me smile and stare and make my thoughts wander.

When my aunt said something about it being my "dog", I giggled. Couldn't help thinking of Sirius Black, now, could I, with all the Harry Potter references already thrown my way.

Either way, it wasn't meant as a werewolf.
Though I like them, I lean more towards the more magical folk, or vampires.
I do howl at the full moon, mind. When I think nobody's around to hear me.

The Gypsy

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

Suggestions, anyone?

Seeing as I've been condemned (by myself, mainly) to rest since Saturday evening, I've been looking around for things to do that require no effort, but are fun all the same.

Reading is part of that, of course.
Here's to breaking some sort of record by either amount of books in 2011 or by level of quality.
Or both. ;D

Watching movies is for when my ADHD won't let me read quietly.
I need a seriously captivating something for me to focus, and how awesome some books and movies are, most of the time they won't even tempt me to concentrate fully.

The movie I watched Saturday night totally did though.
Le Fabuleux Destin d'Amélie Poulain.
Wow. What a fabulously lovely movie.

As schizophrenic and analytic as I can get, deeply philosophical and sometimes incredibly shallow. Amélie definitely reminded me of myself.

No. It wasn't just her dark eyes and hair. (Should I get it cut like hers?)
It was the fact that she's entirely nuts. But very intelligent.
She analyzes anything and everything, but doesn't care about moral issues if she tries to manipulate something for their own good.
+deep content sigh+ Most of all, after watching it, I just wanted to go to Paris and take lots of pictures. Not necessarily in that order.

It moved itself into myself and immediately into my top three best movies ever. :)

Sunday, Freeke, Judith and I watched Fantasia.
You know, the third Disney movie ever? 1940.
First experimental Disney movie ever? :3 That one.

There's no real story. Just visualizations on some of the world's most famous (classical) music of Bach, Vivaldi en Tchaikovsky -among others-.
I'd never seen it before, and people kept on judging it as boring.
So I'd made up my mind that I'd watch it anyways, boring or not.
But it was lovely. Very relaxing to watch. Very funny at points, touching at others.

So yes:
Suggestions. Anything.
Books. Movies. Songs. Music.
They just have to be really really good.

The Gypsy

Friday, 7 January 2011

An Actual Resolution.

I forgot about mentioning this one last time.
Or well, I remembered right after I posted.

But the thing is, this isn't so much a "want".
So it wouldn't have fitted in last time.

I AM going to read more books this year than in 2010.
Seeing as that was a pathetic handful (not literally, I'd say they were about an arm-full 30 books orso, but that's pathetic for my standard, still) that can't be too hard to do.

That's not a want.
That's a fact.
First come all those unread ones in my bookcase.
And I'll look around for tips and must-reads at all times.
Shoot as many suggestions my way as you can. I'll put them on the list. :)

The Gypsy

PS: Happy birthday, mum. (L) Even though it's been a few days, I felt the urge to post that. :)

Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Two Thousand and Eleven. :)

After several long/short talks,
A lot of reflection,
A lot of nightmares,
A lot of dreams,
A lot of loneliness and boredom in weeks where the house wasn't swamped with people,

I've figured out I need to do something.
Or rather. A lot of little somethings.

I need goals.
Here's the idea:

I want to like myself. More than I do now.
I want to have self-confidence.
I want an ego I can boast of (;D /punintended) but in a way that I won't be obnoxious.
I want to let negative commentary go, to let it slip off my back like water of a duck's, and only be guided by the positive and the constructive to improve.

I have to be able to live like a hermit.
Not because I want to, or aspire to.
But because that way I'm not crushed when a friend calls to cancel a plan.
When anything pops up. Comes in the way.
When things happen I myself have no say in or control over.

I want to pick up a hobby or ten.
Sports. (-Ice- Skating? Swimming? Maybe something that won't cost me so much?)
Music. (Piano. Guitar. Let's just start with those two)
Art. (Drawing. Painting. Maybe learn something new)
Literature. (Reading. And WRITING. I need to finish my book some day, damnit.)
Dance. (Or is that a sport?)
There's plenty I love.
I just need to /do/ it.

I want to spend more time socializing to train myself.
Not because I need to know that I can live like a hermit means I have to do that when there's no reason to.
And I don't mean just with close friends, either.
I just want to be able to be properly good at it.

I need to be able to recognize that my face is in a constant dark/frowning position unless I concentrate on it not to be. Unfocused me looks grumpy, apparently.
Instead, it should just be smiling. Because it can.

I need to do it all healthily.
No point in doing all that and falling sick every two weeks.
There's no point in falling sick at all.
My body should learn to behave.
And restrict itself to maybe one cold a year.

I want to learn. Maybe pick up a few classes.
I've wanted to learn Spanish for a long time, I only know a handful of words.
Now is my chance. That's what I'm going to do.
I want to improve my German. So that I not only understand everything that is being said, but so that I can actually communicate. Express myself. Fluently. Without lapsing back to English or Dutch. That's what I'm going to work on.

I want no-good reasons to celebrate.
Not just on birthdays, or weddings, but just randomly.
To twirl around happily for no reason.
Like Luna Lovegood. -There it is. My obsessive loving reference. You should've seen that coming :)-

I want to take my wants seriously.
It's why I'm not labeling them as resolutions.
I might have mentioned this before (go check last year, I dare yah) but resolutions have a negative ring to them. They are set, then worked on fiercely for about 6 weeks, then totally dropped. Forgotten about for a year, until people try again.
And the standard resolutions are quitting smoking and losing weight anyways. I need neither.
I want to realistically say that my resolutions probably won't last until the end of February.
But my "wants" will. Because I'll still want it.
And the only thing I have to do is to concentrate on achieving them.

And this I have from a friend: By taking babysteps, why shouldn't I be able to achieve them?
Achieve all I want.
I don't need to rush anything. I don't need to do a 150 kms per hour on a highway to end up crashing into someone else, or a tree.
I don't need deadlines. I don't need to be anywhere specific at the end of 2011.
I just need to start. Get the engine running. Wander off. And see where I'll be at in roughly 360 days.

And I know I started almost every paragraph with an "I".
But for once, I need to focus on my own needs. Be a bit more selfish.
I'll still be there for friends and family alike, 24/7.
But I need to give myself a break when I'm not needed.

Otherwise, there are several plans, which, if I type them out, they might not happen.
So I'm carefully paranoid about them.
They've got to do with visits, though~
And moving~

Here's to a brilliant 2011. I'm sure it will be. :)

The Gypsy

Monday, 3 January 2011

The Reason -

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

and the reason is You [x3]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

-- Hoobastank

I love this song.
And another one but I can't remember it right now.
I'll post it later =D

The Gypsy