Thursday, 24 September 2009

A Sliver Of Hope.

(*points* Made by me)

Who would have thought,
that to be loved could hurt so much.
Or more specifically,
the pain in their eyes,
when they say goodbye.

They left, left me forlorn,
tears welling up
in my burning eyes.
Choking and trying so hard
to keep my face from contorting
in the pain I feel.

Missing those you love,
is the hardest thing ever.
Especially if you're used to having them always around.
Taking them for granted whilst they were there,
that is the most awful part.

'Lost' is how to describe it best.
An unexplainable urge to reach out,
yet at the same time wishing,
wishing you could just shut everyone out.

It is despair,
lined with just a sliver of hope.
Some things do change after all.

I might just stop posting for a while.
I don't know how long, might be a week, a month... (a year?)
I'll get back to updating when I have something to say.
No. I'm not depressed. Just trying to heal.

The Gypsy.

PS: 100th post already? Poor followers. xD
Here's to a well deserved break.

Wednesday, 23 September 2009

Water and Books

Yesterday, I guess as a sort prolonging the feast, as well as a very late birthday celebration for my brother, we went to a water theme park : Duinrell. What with frog mascot and all the water on all sides, things were soapy wet real quickly.

There were so many rides, boats we could paddle ourselves (wrongly, of course, cause who knew you had to row backwards, really), a speed train called the falcon which goes upside down and makes you regret wearing a necklace at all, and then the water ride very much like the Flying Dutchman in the Efteling (another theme park) which proceeds by cannoning a big boat with a remarkably fast speed downwards into the water, and getting everyone inside drenched in the process.

It was both chilly and windy, which we had not noticed until we got wet, but it was fun anyways.. I guess they were also all trying very hard to be friendly and nice, for once. Big improvement, although it's a shame it doesn't come naturally. They are probably going back to Egypt without me, which is leaving me rather forlorn and miserable, yet trying very hard to be hopeful at the same time. It's the first step to getting what I want, isn't it? If I try hard enough.

On the way home we also stopped at a bookstore (at which I wanted to buy like, fifty books), and they went shopping and left me there for a long while, picked me up only after they were done. (Which suited me fine, I dislike shopping unless it's for books anyways). I did find two of David Lodge's works, and with the promise to pay it back soon, I managed to borrow the money to buy them. Woohoo.

The Gypsy

Sunday, 20 September 2009

A Carless Feastly Magical Sunday

Today's summary?

- Carless Sunday, no cars allowed to drive all through out the country. Environmental reasons?
Apparently they've been doing this for years, first time being in 1939. Every time for a slightly different reason. It's interesting. But highly annoying when you are trying to go out.

- Early morning, mosque visit. Reeeaaally long, tiring, but I guess it's what makes the feast complete to end Ramadan.

- A nap at daytime, finally. Oh, and food, of course. Weird to be able to drink whenever you feel thirsty.

- We went to the movies : Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince.
Not comparable to the book, but of the six movies, I think it's one of the best ones yet.
Beautiful graphics, funny jokes, brilliant atmosphere. The acting and plot might've needed a little tweaking, but that's always the fact with movies based on books, aye?

- Generally an okay atmosphere, for once. No arguing or tension. I wish it was always like this.

The Gypsy

Saturday, 19 September 2009

Talk Like A Pirate Day

Aye matey, today was yer regular International Talk Like A Pirate Day, Arrr.
What are yeh lookin' at, scallywag?! It's true, I tells yah, such a day really exists!
I hope that not be troublin' yeh, else yeh'll have to walk the plank~

Anyways, it's not how I spent the day.
I went all the way to the other end the Netherlands, and spent the train trips (to and from) trying to ignore a brat kid kicking out, a hard-talking lesbian who told her story three times (without variation) to anyone who would listen, and a blond bimbo with no brains and a loose tongue.

I spent my day with Ralf and Babsi, and that was very enjoyable.
I watched them playing warhammer, trying as hard as I could to make sense of the rules. It proved not to be very difficult if you have the table with the scores and points of strength, toughness, skill, etc. It's all strategies and luck (throwing dice), and with a bit of imagination you can actually see goblins flying through the air to land wrong without hitting anyone and being totally squashed by the fall.

Then Wim (Ralf's neighbour) and Shana joined us, and started playing with Ralf's gamecube. (A Mario cart thing game?)
I had in the meantime been running on three hours of sleep in about fifty hours, and my brain was starting to show it's annoying shutting down process, even though it by no means means I got anything near actual sleeping. My body reacts to tiredness, but somehow it still manages to keep awake. Annoying, really.

Babs noticed me zoning out, and they took a break from the battle (no clue who won, I'll have to ask them), connected two more consoles to the gamecube, and the five of us played a few more races (one person watching the other four, then getting the console from the one who won the round) but I was as horrible at concentrating at that, too. It was fun though, random comments cracking them up one by one.

Then they had to eat, and I had to leave, because I had another two-hour-trip ahead of me, and I was already passed my time limit (As the plan was that I head to Dad's friend, where we were invited for the last day of Ramadan), but instead I just headed home (Way past sunset anyways).

I had also been bright enough (!) to forget my key in my bike. I spent the whole train trip going looking for it, and gave it up as a lost cause after two or three hours. I would have either have had to walk home (a good 40 minutes on a painful pair of boots) or discover/find the key after all. I was lucky.

I came home thinking it'd be deserted, but found sis at home anyways, watching tv.
I will need to go to bed soon, especially if tomorrow is the feast (which will mean we'll have to get up at 6 am)

Drink up me hearties, yo ho ;D
The Gypsy

Friday, 18 September 2009

I wish I were a kid again

Not going to start listing trouble and anxiety again, I'm quite sick of that.

Two days ago, I went out with mum to find out things about possible insurance, jobs, education, etc.. Not that I found out much, but when I came back I saw a chestnut (one of their kind, anyways) on the ground. (We have a big Chestnut Oak right next to the house I grew up in.)
When I was 7 (well, before that, too, most likely) all my classmates and I used to have a spot of competition about who would collect the largest number of the shiny brown things.

In class we'd be all kinds of creative and make figurines and the like out of them, or fill a pot with them as decoration. I remember using it as a body for a spider (See? I always have been morbid, it's not a new phase)

Anyways, I saw it on the ground, picked it up, and saw another one. Within the span of three seconds I was distracted so much by the feeling of wanting to pick up and find even more of them, that I told mum I'd be right inside, and dove into the bushes to collect them.

Within five minutes I had collected a total of thirty shiny bling-bling nuts, and I totally felt like a kid again. No worries, no strains, just "Ugh, need. to. reach. It's. too. far. Grrr... YAY! Gotcha!"
And that's brilliant.

I took a picture to post on here, with my phone. Soon afterward I wish I had not, for it became clear that there was no easy way to get the picture from my phone onto my laptop. The phone being from the Middle Ages, it has no such thing as a cable to connect to a laptop. Even if it did, I very much doubt my virus-attacked-whimpy-laptop would even have accepted the connection at all. (Which I highly doubt, seeing as it refused to accept the bluetooth drive I plugged in a million times, even though it worked alright before. Just not when I /need/ it to work. Ironic.)

After 24 hours (admittedly, not doing much to try, I've been busy working and being sick), I finally found that it was doable to plug the bluetooth driver into my sister's laptop, send the pictures to her, have her email them to me, so I could download them onto the drive and upload them. Piece of pie? I thought not.

Here you go,
You better enjoy D;

Woot for creativity?

The Gypsy

Saturday, 12 September 2009

Keeping Busy..

Which is what you do when you get depressed.
Or become a liability to depression.
Because honestly, no matter how rotten I feel here, I never sank into that stupor I have back in Egypt.. Yet, anyways.

So I've been keeping so busy I barely sleep.
Just about 4 hours a night, give or take.
My weekdays last week consisted of a daily at-least-5-hour-shift at McDonalds, back home for a shower and a change in clothes, then going from door to door in our neighbourhood with sis to collect for KWF (Cancer-fighting Funds) for about two hours, to return home and work for 4 hours online (work, not play/chat), then feed myself, and read till I finally fall asleep.
How is that for routine?

Today though, no work. Kept busy anyways, although I did first sleep something like, ten hours.
We went to see a mill today!
From the inside!
It was sooo cool. =D
I made some pictures and videos, maybe that would give you a better idea then me explaining how it looked and felt.
The inside:

The outside:

Also, they had some bee-thing downstairs, selling the wax and honey and stuff bees made.

*Shiver* So many of them.

Zoetermeer really is the prettiest little town.

Some cam-whoring xD

Me and Mummy Dearest.

When we came back home, me and sis returned the Collecting Tin we had used this week, and it turned out we had collected over 80 Euros (83,62 to be exact) !!! in change! Which is like, wow, seeing as everybody put in just a few cents, I'm amazed we got so much. (To be fair, one lady gave us a 5-Euro-note. But that was a one-timer).

Then me and sis went for a bike ride, fed ducks, went to MacDee to drink something before heading home.
I better be off soon.
Only decent sleep I get is on weekends.

The Gypsy.

Wednesday, 9 September 2009


I've been working nine hours (both MacDee and freelance translating)
Have more than nine bruises (I'm sure)
It's just a few minutes past nine (now, anyways)
I have nine windows open (Wooh for multi-tasking)
Hoping Ralf scored a nine for his exam today (That's an American A, I think >.> Or a German 1 or 2?)
And today's date would be nine, nine, two thousand and nine.

Today was the day I was hoping to be special.
In a way. With good news.
Maybe that Tamara would get news about getting transplanted..
Or that arguments were over at home..
Or that we didn't have to go back to Egypt in two weeks..

No such luck.
Besides, I'm getting the strangest rash ever. Which I had in Egypt.
Little bumps on my skin which aren't any particular color (ie. Skin colour), which itch like hell until I give in and scratch myself open.
They're not like any insect bites, nor do I know that I ate anything to give me this kind of rash.
Conclusion: My allergy is from Egypt.
Observation: Not helping me much, knowing that. Doesn't change a thing.

The Gypsy

Monday, 7 September 2009

Downsides of a klutz

I managed to fall. Again.
Now not only my right knee is not bending without torture (which makes stairs of any sort painful), but also my left hip is completely bruised. Black, actually.
Gypsy is a klutz. Unmistakeably so.

Oh, yes..
Since I started working, my brain has been having all sorts of.. what can I call it best? uhm.. well, weird reactions, basically. It does maths a lot faster (woah), it makes me scarily organized, so much so that it's becoming really effective, and it's having me zone out a LOT more than usual, which makes me so much more a scatterbrain (to make up for the organizing and quick calculating, I'm sure).
I can actually stare ahead of me and NOT think ANYTHING. At all. And it's brilliant. Usually I can't shut my brain off, now it shuts itself off even when I still need to use it.

So yeah.

I started painting again. ^^;;;

The Gypsy

Saturday, 5 September 2009

A week's ins and outs.

All things considered, stuff is looking pretty.. positive?

Although I've had the worst week I've had in a while, physically and mentally (Lack of sleep, lack of good news, and an abundance of bad news and karma, ditched by friends...), I have not once uttered a desperately depressed "I want to die...".

And that, considering I used to say it quite a lot under less drastic circumstances, is quite a good revelation, and I confess myself pleasantly surprised.


I just received several books from the other side of the world, which made me happier than I've been all week.

Oh, a few days ago I was knocked of my bicycle in a storm xD Now my knee is damaged, and I can't move it without it hurting. (Which makes sleeping in the attic a nightmare.. All those stairs. D; )

The night before that, it was raining, and past midnight, I sneaked out of the house for a late night stroll. I've never done that before.. It was.. intense? Because it was scary yet awesome at the same time.

I think that was it for random fun facts about this week.

The Gypsy

Thursday, 3 September 2009


So me and my twin are now working in the same kind of branch : ie, junkfood.
To be more exact about me, specifically: I got a very-part-time job at McDonald's.
Very because it's only once/twice a week, for a couple of hours.
Although it's good I found anything at all. It's been driving me crazy that half the town has my CV right about now, and nothing's happening yet.

Johnny prophesied that I'd get American customers if I got the job there, cause they'd wander to the nearest "homely" thing in a foreign country. That being, obviously, MacDee. xD
Cutting a long story short: He was right. xD There are quite a few regular customers as well. Americans, I mean. Or well, I would assume they're regulars, seeing the way they greet the whole staff so cheerfully.

One thing is sure though.
I appreciate those behind the register (and in the kitchens/delivery) of any McDonalds over the globe a LOT more now. Of any junk food place, really. Maybe of any food place generally.
I've honestly been underestimating working there. Might be because I'm still getting used to everything, but yeah. It's not all that easy. xD

The Gypsy.