Friday, 20 March 2009

Isn't it ironic?

phthisic, phthisi·cal adj.
new word. I rather like it. It means wasting away, for those who don't know.
I think it's rather adequate. For what exactly, I can't say.
Intriguing word nonetheless. I wonder whether the way I pronounce it is anywhere near correct. Hmm.

I'm thinking I should write a guide of "How to lose your friends inn three easy steps".. Or something of the sort, anyways. Because I've become quite good at it. And the best thing about it? You do not even have to behave like a total loser or an obscene bitch, pardon my french.
You do not even have to change anything about your caring and kind self. Piece of pie, eh?

And here is another Oprah episode, this one unfortunately not nearly as positive as the last one I saw: Cheating. Cheating of men on their partners, to be more specific.
88% of the men that cheat admit who they cheat with isn't more beautiful or fit than their own partner. And only 7% of the men that cheat will tell their partners without being asked. Most men have this "will take the secret with me into the grave" idea.
That men become insecure, because they want to "win", when they fail, they feel horrible. Like wanting to do something good for their wife, like making toast, and they end up burning the toast, so they get insecure... (Enough to friggin' cheat?)
That they don't consciously choose to betray their partners. That it starts out as a friendship, and just slips "too far". That they are emotional, just can't express it, won't talk about it, and thus hurt the communication part.
I don't know.
I think I feel very helpless and hopeless about this.
Like, the only way to avoid being cheated on is to avoid relationships.

I don't know much of anything anymore. I just know that becoming an optimist might not be in my blood. That numbing my depression might need some "chemical catalyst" if I seriously want to consider it. I only know that being bored and lonely can drive someone up the wall, and you don't even choose it. And I don't get why it takes so much energy to try and change anything, then it ends up blowing up in your face anyways..

The Gypsy


  1. That's like having cancer and not wanting to try chemo because it might not work. Well, yeah, it might not work, but if you don't try to fight the cancer you lose no matter what.

    It stands to reason if you don't take a chance, you're potentially cheating the one guy out there that deserves you.

  2. I probably would just give in to cancer. I'm done fighting.

    And then I'll cheat, I suppose. I don't think whoever it is will be very saddened if he actually met me.

    [/bitter and down]

  3. Bullshit! You're interesting enough that if I didn't have a job I'd still probably be talking to you twelve hours a day, compassionate enough that you're the first person to whom I bring my problems, and fair enough that you're the first, if only, person for whose opinion I ask. I'd comment on adorability, but if I haven't made my opinion on that lucid by now it ain't never gon' be lucid.

    Furthermore, you abhor cheaters and cheating.

  4. You do realize you're a doll, don't you? <3
    Thank you.

  5. Heh, well I'm a doll until somebody enters a relationship with me, then every damn thing I do becomes intolerable.

    On a related Val-depression note, I've started drinking again.

  6. Do you think I have the right to be selfish enough to ask you to stop that? )= *worried about you*

  7. I'm not drinking a lot or to get drunk, just enough to sedate myself mildly when I'm extremely angry or depressed. I'm just at the "it doesn't matter anymore" phase.

  8. I guess that means no.
    Just take care of yourself.

  9. I'm just relaxing my ban on it, as in not entirely temperate anymore but not going over the edge either. It's pretty effective in small doses.

    Anyway, to try to cheer you up, I'm going to post a list of some story arc ideas I'm working on for my comic. It'll cover just about the first year of activity.

  10. Time to start commenting again, yes. : D

    If I'm bored and lonely, I start thinking too much and kind of lose the grip of reality. Sometimes I don't even have to think too much to do that. Sometimes during summer vacation, you see, I go really confused... I guess if nothing keeps me occupied, I go a little weird.

    That thing about cheating men is weird. I think what I've seen about cheating women usually tells that they need some excitement and fresh blood and choose a good-looking, passionate guy to play with. I guess with men it's all different... Hmm. I always pretend there's no difference between men and women, and aim for the midway, but I guess there is.