Sunday, 1 March 2009

I can't believe...

"Those who are dead,
are not dead,
they're just living in my head..."

... It's already March, again.
Seems like time is slipping between my fingers like sand, and there is nothing I can do about it.
Even worse: My hope for a better year has till now been one great disappointment.
Nothing is changing, nothing within the near future anyways. I end up changing plans because of circumstances beyond my reach, and it stinks...
Some things are even getting worse, although I have to admit some things are stagnate right now.

I'm not spending nearly enough time with my friends, I don't talk about anything anymore.. Anything that matters, that is. It seems like everybody around me is talking about things I couldn't care less about.
I'm not doing anything valuable in my "Alone" time either, peculiarly. One would think that being lonely might make you pick up a book or a painting brush or even a pencil to draw or write, in my case. But no. And silly thing is, I don't know why. I merely don't feel like doing any of that...

One thing, though. I'm not losing hope. I'm planning to beat this pessimism.
I have a new resolution, too: All that self-doubt I have is good for nothing, and all the self-loathing and bashing is only hurting me. I obviously can't just decide to love myself, just like that, but what I can do is use what I'm saying against myself as constructive criticism to build upon. Instead of harping on flaws, I might as well try and change whatever I'm irked with, nay?
Or I can try, in any case.

That's it for now,
xxx
The Gypsy.

8 comments:

  1. Assalamualaikum...
    just wanna know..have u met any asian people (malaysian , indonesian or watever)in this beautiful alexandria?

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  2. A couple. Not personally, though. Some of my friends are asians, yes. But Chinese.

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  3. Jessuns! I made a playlist last week like the one you got, but then I eated it and I forgots whats wheres I putted it. :3

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  4. Aww. Try out the links, spit through your history at playlist.com. Might find it back. :3

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  5. Jessjessjessjess! I left you a message earlier but it did not register! I got the pizza delivery job! I spent two hours delivering pizzas and and and then I made $15.50 in tips too! n.n And I'm doing it again tomorrow night and I'm nervous but but but I'mma do it and I'mma make me some monies! <333

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  6. AND SART UPDATED FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A MONTH!!! x333 SQUEEEEEE!

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  7. Aaaaand abject depression kicks in. That's more like it. All this excitement was making me uncomfortable.

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  8. Coldplay again! :0 It gets featured in your blog a lot! (last time in comments though)
    And agh, I hope you get over your pessimistic thoughts... I felt exactly the same thing about friends pretty much exactly a year ago when I really felt like an outsider and thought they'll get rid of me soon enough when summer starts and I leave the country. And instead of hanging out with them, I just locked in my room and played with my DS.

    And having to have to change plans sucks so much, trying to make things change and hopes keep coming crashing down, I can just imagine what it's like... Yet I can't help any! *hugs*

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