Sunday, 15 February 2015

Self-contemplation, goals and a rant.

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” 

So lately, I've been doing a lot of self-contemplation.
That means you run into yourself a lot. You learn things about yourself.
You might learn things you don't quite like, and others you're quite comfortable with.
But either way, learning about yourself only helps the 'Future You'.
20-Years-From-Now-Jess is going to be happy I had this phase in my life now, even though Present-Jess might be sitting with her hands in her hair, wondering where to go from now..

One of the things I learned about myself (and maybe humans in general), is that I am, surprisingly (to myself) a creature of habit. Be it bad or good, it's easiest to do something you always do.
Now, I'm a pretty spontaneous, flexible and adventurous person. I didn't know you could be doing something new, and yet combine it by habit, by approaching this new situation like you're used to in any other -similar- situation. It's ironic, but quite interesting.

I'd promised myself I'd pick up my hobbies again, now that I have breathing space and am not swamped by work and deadlines. And yet, I am having a hard time doing just that.
It's been a habit of not-reading, not-painting, not-exercising, not-listening-to-music for so long, I have to actively tell myself over and over again that that's what I'm going to do. And even then, I don't do it half the time.
Which lead to a new promise I made to myself: I need to stop being so harsh to/about myself.
Give myself my own breathing space.

I've been told that having a goal usually helps with the "Where do I go from here?".
Which is great. Apart from the fact that I can't think of any goals. Which is, apparently, a well-known and pretty average problem for people.
Seeing as top-atheletes and business-people and achievers in general have a "big picture", they have a long-term goal (or goals) they want to achieve.. This big goal needs to be divided into chunks, where you can make a "divide and conquer" sort of strategy, and start addressing them one by one.

"Goals are like magnets. They'll attract the things that made them come true."
- Tony Robbins

For me, sure, I've got short-term goals plenty that need addressing. Not goals I want, as much as need, to achieve. I can't, however, figure out where I want to be in 5 years, or 10 (aside from on the top of some far away mountain, or maybe diving in a beautiful ocean... or maybe a visit to the moon? -- yeah, okay, I've got the travelling itch. Literally. )
The only cliché goal I can think of, is that I want to be happy. Today. Tomorrow. 5 years from now, and 50 years from now, too. And apart from that, there's just TONS of things I know I DON'T want to be/have. Which is something, right?

There are mindtools that advise you how to think up goals and divide them, and more importantly, how to define them. Even WikiHow seems to know HOW to do this.
I'm wondering if it works. But even though I'm sceptical, I'm also hopeful.
If this is what is advised, if there are people out there it has helped.. Well, then it might have a point (or more)..
I'm hopeful for me, too. It gives me a relieved sort of feeling, that I don't have to have everything figured out already.

The Gypsy

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