Goodbye deadlines. Goodbye free OV (Public Transportation). Goodbye interesting classes. Goodbye warm and hilarious classmates. Goodbye internships. Goodbye exams. Goodbye student offers. Goodbye discounts on Zumba. Goodbye YES-it's-almost-Stufi-day. Goodbye homework. Goodbye thesis.
HELLO new challenge! Hello new life!
I started googling "Graduated, now what?" a few weeks ago.
I started worrying. About the black hole. The emptiness that comes after attaining a goal.
I started thinking for the first time: If I can't be a tour guide full time... what the hell do I want to be?
I started asking myself questions.
Do I want to tie myself down to a "real" job because I should?
Do I want to see more of the world and stay unsettled?
Do I want to continue studying? Masters? Courses? Evening classes? Should I?
I started panicking because I had no clue. I started relaxing because I was almost done.
I did all that before I did not get the call that I had failed. (Ironic. Because they let people stress. And those that passed are in that stress/anxiety the longest. Because they think calling everybody is not sustainable?)
I did that before looking into my thesis.
I did that before preparing a presentation.
I did that before my Thesis presentation and Defense.
Wishful thinking?
Maybe.
Or was it self confidence?
Maybe that too. Which would be more surprising.
When I got called back into the room after they had discussed my passing and grade, the first thing they said was " Of course this will come as no surprise to you, but you passed."
I wanted to say that I was surprised. I wanted to tell them what a relief it was.
I wanted to say that I'd hoped so, wished so, dreamed so, but dared not think so.
All I said was ".... it's good to hear it out loud from you!"
They laughed. And overwhelmed me with positive feedback.
I celebrated. Non stop. Mainly with food.
LOTS of food.
HELLO new challenge! Hello new life!
I started googling "Graduated, now what?" a few weeks ago.
I started worrying. About the black hole. The emptiness that comes after attaining a goal.
I started thinking for the first time: If I can't be a tour guide full time... what the hell do I want to be?
I started asking myself questions.
Do I want to tie myself down to a "real" job because I should?
Do I want to see more of the world and stay unsettled?
Do I want to continue studying? Masters? Courses? Evening classes? Should I?
I started panicking because I had no clue. I started relaxing because I was almost done.
I did all that before I did not get the call that I had failed. (Ironic. Because they let people stress. And those that passed are in that stress/anxiety the longest. Because they think calling everybody is not sustainable?)
I did that before looking into my thesis.
I did that before preparing a presentation.
I did that before my Thesis presentation and Defense.
Wishful thinking?
Maybe.
Or was it self confidence?
Maybe that too. Which would be more surprising.
When I got called back into the room after they had discussed my passing and grade, the first thing they said was " Of course this will come as no surprise to you, but you passed."
I wanted to say that I was surprised. I wanted to tell them what a relief it was.
I wanted to say that I'd hoped so, wished so, dreamed so, but dared not think so.
All I said was ".... it's good to hear it out loud from you!"
They laughed. And overwhelmed me with positive feedback.
I celebrated. Non stop. Mainly with food.
LOTS of food.
I started out with a high tea with Anouk, when the main stress had abated.
High tea dessert.
And then I got supplies and made everyone at home some ice café.
Which turned out to taste exactly like it should.
There was Marijn's birthday just before graduation with lots of good food too.
And then there was Suzy's awesome birthday with a pancake party.
This pancake was happy.
(But.. nauseating)
As were we.
The next morning I ate her head!
When do you get to say you ate your friend's head? Forreal?
When do you get to say you ate your friend's head? Forreal?
Also. Tompouce <3 nbsp="" p="">
And I bought myself a gift.
I'll upload a picture of it later and enthusiastically GUSH about it.
But I don't want to spoil it, because I'm also going to gift it to one of my best friends.
So HUSH for now :D
And what's next?
Quiet time. Maybe a digital sabbatical.
Reading what I want. Sleeping when I want.
A few days of having to do absolutely nothing.
Before having to figure out what is next~
Xx
The Gypsy
And an exception to the food celebration:
MY FIRST CONCERT EVER!
MY FIRST CONCERT EVER!
((As a birthday present to me, from Jasper.
We'd already decided that it was going to be either a comfort outing (if I were in tears for not graduating)
We'd already decided that it was going to be either a comfort outing (if I were in tears for not graduating)
or a celebratory outing (WHICH IT WAS!)
The intro was by Stream of Passion.
I'd not heard of them ever. But they were alright.
I'd not heard of them ever. But they were alright.
Mix between Evanescence and Lacuna Coil. Ish.
Kamelot was the main act.
AND THEY WERE AWESOME!
Yeah. A crowd selfie.
And I bought myself a gift.
I'll upload a picture of it later and enthusiastically GUSH about it.
But I don't want to spoil it, because I'm also going to gift it to one of my best friends.
So HUSH for now :D
And what's next?
Quiet time. Maybe a digital sabbatical.
Reading what I want. Sleeping when I want.
A few days of having to do absolutely nothing.
Before having to figure out what is next~
Xx
The Gypsy
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