When it happened the second, I started feeling betrayed.
When it happened the third time, I started wondering: Should I be worried?
People I know who have been telling me they will "NEVER EVER do this, that and the other", usually wind up doing exactly that. It is not even like they're forced to or anything. They just subtly start changing their minds.
I'm talking about big things here, by the way. Commitment, marriage, children, money and work, or anything even remotely linked to that.
"I'll never marry an Egyptian."
"I'll either marry my way, or no way."
"I wouldn't like a guy just cause he has money."
"I wouldn't ever take a job like that, not if they offered me millions."
Tsk. Yeah right.
It's not exactly what I say I'll never do. But I started to get worried.
Three times I've been disappointed by others. They're happy, or pretending to be.
I shouldn't be complaining at all. I should just shut it and be happy for them.
But what if /I/ suddenly change my mind?
I mean.. I'm against some things for a reason, aren't I? Principles? Or general dislikes? Beliefs? Anything? I shiver at the mere thought of backing down on anything, but the problem is, with some things, it's already happening. I catch myself thinking "Maybe it wouldn't be that bad."
God. Spare me.
xxx
The Gypsy.
Well, this is us human beings we have certain beliefs and we do not hold on to them. Only then when you back up it won't be that bad you will have changed your mind towards them and in any way or another you will have to adapt. I think it is only adapting and compromising but it is never really choice. Life is a big disappointment people will disappoint you and you will disappoint them and you will disappoint yourself as well. It is the idea of deceiving others and one's self.
ReplyDelete