Glass: Half full or half empty?

I don't know. I can't even decide anymore if I'm having a good or a bad day.
One minute it is one thing, the next totally the opposite.
At first I believe change is possible, getting away is possible, and I'm looking up ticket prices and visas and stuff. Ten minutes later I feel like I'm stuck here forever. To change my mind after another ten minutes.
And my mood swings along just as easily, although that's quite annoying when I get to the easily angered, sad, depressed, or helpless feelings. It's good that I'm not feeling them all the time, though.

Arguments: Seem to be having a lot of those the last couple of days. Funny thing is, I know it's not me who starts fighting. I mean, I would admit so if I really did, but I don't. Normally sometimes I do, but I've been pretty passive and serene lately. Supposedly that's good, although it makes me not good at fighting back immediately? And then I boil in anger for hours afterwards, because I was not able to vent properly straight away. I've already always had that problem. Now it's just gotten worse.

Books: Got a lot to read of those, and they need to be over and done with quickly, cause there's a whole list still "pending", basically. But I can't get myself to focus. No time? I wish I could say I was doing something else productive then, but I'm not. Besides concentrating on healing.
I'm either sleeping, sick, or the tv is on. And no matter where I am in the house, I hear that nasty thing everywhere, so that I can't focus on what I'm reading. Even reading aloud isn't an option, it makes me read so much slower..

All sounds a bit negative, but I'm not being pessimistic or whiny, just factual.
It'll turn out okies, I'm sure.

xxx
The Gypsy